Dear Mum…

Dear mum,

You raised me on your own for 18 years. You worked to put food on the table, even if it meant that food wasn’t enough for you. You studied hard to get a job you’ve always wanted and to provide a better future. You worked two jobs to put me through school. You think I’ve forgotten all of this. 

You think I’ve forgotten how you tried to rescue me from an abusive relationship, how you let me move home because I was struggling to make ends meet, how you’ve leant me money when I was short. 

You’ve also forgotten all of the things I have done in return. You’ve forgotten the times I leant you money, the rent I’ve paid so you didn’t have to, the bills I’ve paid because you didn’t have the money in time, when I’ve cleaned the house or tidied the yard because you physically weren’t able to. You’ve forgotten, I haven’t. 

So when you say to me, you’re so over this bullshit and you want Matt and I out of the house by the end of the month, expect a little backlash. When you accuse us of doing nothing around the house, expect us to fire back the extensive list of things we’ve done in the last year alone. Expect us to call you out on your bullshit. That’s what this is. Bullshit. You said to us before your boyfriend moved in that nothing will change. You lied. Everything changed. You became a different person. You became a shell of the person you were, living in his shadow and kowtowing to his every need. 

You think we can’t see. That we are blind. I see my once independent mother now living to serve a man and I know that’s not who you are. I know you feel like you need a companion and believe me I understand but I wish you would find someone who will treat you the way you deserve. Someone who will put you on a pedestal and worship you for the queen you are. Not someone who treats you like a stepping stone to the next thing. Not someone who has a history of treating you like a convenience. Not someone who drives a wedge between you and your family, and disguises it as me driving a wedge between you two because I don’t want to see you happy. 

We see what is happening because we are sitting on the outside. A position we will remain in until we move out and then I simply won’t have a place in your life. I’ll look fondly on the times we were a formidable team, on the good times. I’ll pretend the bad times didn’t happen, but I won’t be here to clean up the mess. I won’t be the shoulder you lean on. 

You may have gained a companion, but what has your behaviour cost you?

Love Stacey 

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One thought on “Dear Mum…

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  1. I’m so sorry that you’re going through this! I hope that everything works out for the best–that your mother finds her way out of this destructive relationship and that the two of you can become a team again!

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